The absolute worst day of my life was the day in March 1991 when I went for an AIDS test after I discovered my husband's secret life of acting out with prostitutes. I was all alone. NO one to go with me. I was struggling so much over the fact that I had played by all the rules and yet, here I was needing to get tested for AIDS. I was broken and felt like there was no reason to keep living. That day, I decided I would one day write a book about what I was going through and offer hope to other women just like me.
Five years later, Focus on the Family published my ground-breaking book An Affair of the Mind--the very first book to address the trauma of sexual betrayal from the betrayed partner's perspective. Since that long ago devastating day through many ups and downs, I have rebuilt my personal foundations and created a personal life I really, Really, REALLY love. In my professional life, I am the new President of the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. There was no APSATS back on that terrible day in 1991. Today, thanks to the pioneering work of Dr. Barbara Steffens, APSATS trains and certifies clinicians and coaches worldwide using a trauma informed model to help hurting partners just like I was so many years ago. I am so grateful for my journey.
I so want every betrayed partner to know there is hope you can ALSO create a life you really, Really, REALLY love. You CAN move from the helpless feeling that life is happening TO you to the awesome feeling of knowing how to have life happen THROUGH you.